In case you didn't know...

I'm now Mrs. Steven Bedford.

Check out some pictures on Summer Jean Photography's blog.

Life is beautiful

And so is this child.

A vision

So, I had this vision last night... and I was all excited about writing about it today, but now I can't remember what it was. I feel like this happens all too often. I think I need to start keeping a notebook next to my bed so when I have visions in that just before sleep time that I can write them down so I don't forget them in the morning.

I've been having a lot of visions lately. It's been kind of intense. I just forget them all during the waking hours.

I do know that I went star-gazing with Jesus last night. It was awesome.

And now I remember my vision. Sweet!

So, I was walking in the field where I typically meet up with Jesus. It's just your typical overgrown field. I usually find myself there in that golden hour when the sun hits just right to make the world look full of warmth and light - a golden glow. But not last night. Last night it was dark. I knew I was there, but I couldn't see anything except one light. I realized Jesus was coming to meet me out on the path where I was. He had a flashlight. He had this great plan of taking me somewhere incredible to look at the stars. If any of you know me, you know I'm awful at seeing in the dark. I really don't like walking around in the dark without my own flashlight. I honestly can't see a thing. Jesus had a flashlight, but the path quickly narrowed and we had to walk one in front of the other instead of side by side. Jesus went first because he had the flashlight. If you've ever been out at night walking like this as the second person, the one without the flashlight, you know that you miss out on a lot of the light that you wish were right near your feet. I was stumbling on rocks and everything, but I was holding on to Jesus, so I knew I was going in the right direction and that I couldn't fall because I was holding on to him. It was really hard to stay balanced and feel safe, but I had to trust that Jesus was going to help me get to where we were going. Eventually we made it to a clearing at the top of a hill where the grass had been mowed and there was a blanket there with pillows and everything. We laid down on the blanket and covered up with others that were there and just looked up at the stars. The flashlight was now off. We were veiled in darkness, except for the light of the stars above. It was incredible. Such beauty.

I feel like this is how we go through life. We feel like Jesus isn't showing us the way. He promises to be the lamp unto our feet and the light unto our path. (This is appropriate because Jesus is the word) Sometimes we feel like we're stumbling through the dark with glimpses now and then of what's ahead. Yet, if we're holding on to Jesus, we can't go wrong. We may falter a bit, which is okay because we aren't promised that it will be easy. Stumbling a little bit here and there is fine. If we're holding onto Jesus, we won't fall; if we do, he's there to help us up and shine the light directly on us. If we don't hold on to Jesus, we fall far behind in our stumblings. He knows we're there, but he can't help us if we don't let him. In our falling behind in our faltering, we don't make it to the clearing - the beauty that is the stars in all their glory. We miss out on opportunities to see the Lord's glory fully revealed through signs and wonders - anything from a shooting star to a life raised from the dead. We miss out on the intimacy that we so desperately crave.

So even if the path seems narrow and rocky and so dark you can't see where you're going, hold on to Jesus. He's got the flashlight and he knows where we're going.

ok, so it's been a while

So... maybe I've been a little busy. I'm basically done with my first semester of graduate school. I'm very much in love with Steven Bedford. He is amazing. He's taught me so much about Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit and the Kingdom of Heaven. So... I've been thinking I might write on here again to talk about what I'm learning...

I was reading in John today and read 12:9-11.

Word got out among the Jews that he was back in town. The people came to take a look, not only at Jesus but also at Lazarus, who had been raised from the dead. So the high priests plotted to kill Lazarus because so many of the Jews were going over and believing in Jesus on account of him.


It made me think again, why are we not doing miracles? Why are we not raising the dead? I'm serious. It's the best way to show God's glory and to bring His kingdom to earth. He wants restoration. What better restoration is there than bringing someone back to life?

Check this out...

Sorry about the lack of posting... I guess I just haven't had much to say or much motivation to post it up here.

But there is news! I am moving to SpringHill Camps on Tuesday. If you want to write me (and you know you do!) my address is:

SpringHill Camps
ATTN: Abby Kosta
P.O. Box 958
Evart, MI 49631



In more thoughtful posting, I've been reading Frederick Buechner lately. He's pretty cool. If you ever get the chance, pick up The Magnificent Defeat. It's good stuff.

more to come? perhaps...

I am officially not going to school for musicology next year. Not because I don't want to, but because the schools I applied to don't want me to.

I hate not being good enough.

I'm a nerd, I know. But seriously, you have to agree that this is pretty cool...